In the Blanket of Loneliness, Found the Truth

Having this Friday mood on, going nowhere, doing nothing except gaming and movies... am dry of ideas in getting into life of mine where i've always sth to do. Why am i being like this? I know... I'm being in a condition of a gigabyte weekend vanity. Thoughts are bouncing freely and randomly in my mind... i'm a BOGGLER. It starts boggling at the spectacle of star-bust. It reminds me of the family gathering, the reunion with old friends etc... (The happiness out there!)

In short, my heart is searching for sth that even i can't see it virtually. Virtual vanity? Haha... In this small, confined heart, it's so empty that even millions of stars can fill in. The star-bust of fireworks reminds me one of the happiest moments in my life that i miss so much. Sometimes we do need loneliness to focus to do sth better, I suppose. However, when if it's not the time, then the loneliness squeezes into my heart where even my platelet can't destroy it. It's a very strong antigen, perhaps more than a virus, where i can't be immune to it now. Perhaps, again, my body is building up its active immunity against this loneliness that until now, this very moment lingers deep down in my blood.

I keep on thinking why, stripping all the causes of this loneliness. Even nothing can entertain me, get me out of this world of darkness. Movies, NO! Meditation, NO! Studying, NO! I keep on writing and writing and keep on thinking and thinking.. Maa, I found out the truth. I need someone to talk to, to play with, to be patted with the soft hands... I need my mom, in short.. Miss her so much. Lil bro, miss you too. Continue writing... But it's impossible for me to go that far to get out of this loneliness. And I was thinking rationally. Trying to be not affected emotionally. I managed to get rid but I realised I still need someone to spend time with. Chats and laughters would fill in. Here, in the college life, being alone is such a NO-NO to me. Looking through the window, searching for beloved friends. Where??? What a quiet, lonely hostel? Hmmm...

I hope there will be sth that make me win against this loneliness. Who will? or what will? Somehow, I need to win. I'll do sth but I need help. God, im thinking of you! While keep on thinking, out of nowhere, I feel the presence of God in my heart. Loneliness is no longer there, isn't it? "Hey MR.LONELY, are you still there?" No answer. Good. It disappears. Yet imlooking forward God in the form of Maa...